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How to communicate better.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

No matter how much you like each other your relationship is doomed to fail unless you can master the art of communication. Here are the Dos and Don’ts for better communication in your relationship:

Have important conversations face to face. Emails and text messages don’t work well for important conversations because you can’t hear the other person’s tone of voice. It’s easy to misinterpret what the other person is saying and take things the wrong way, turning what could have been an easy conversation into an argument.

Pick the right time to talk. When your partner is rushing out the door to get to work, it’s probably not the best time to try to get their attention and have a conversation. The same goes for when they are stressed or preoccupied. Let them know you want to talk and ask, “is this a good time?” You’ll be more likely to get their full attention and have a better conversation.

Start a criticism with a compliment. This softens the blow of the critique you’re making.

Listen when they are speaking. Put down your phone, turn off the TV, and just listen.

Talk often, good and bad. It’s easy to veg out in front of the TV and stop having conversations together when you’re in a relationship. Make sure to carve out time to talk every day, about anything good or bad. Don’t just save talking for heavy subjects.

Don’t

Generalize. This is especially true with criticism. Avoid saying things like “You always interrupt me” or “you never tell me I look nice”. Chances are it’s not true that they always or never act in a certain way and they are bound to get defensive.

Focus on the past. Don’t bring up the time 6 months ago that they were late picking you up. Keep the focus on the current issue rather than holding a grudge on the past and rehashing it every time you want to make a point.

Shut down. When a conversation gets heated and you feel like it’s not going your way, don’t shut down and end the conversation by saying things like “fine, whatever”. Instead, take a break to collect your thoughts and then pursue the conversation to make your point. You want to feel that your thoughts were heard and that won’t happen if you walk away in the middle of the conversation.

Expect them to read your mind. If you want something just say it. Don’t drop hints and then get mad when they don’t read your mind. If you need them to do more or less of something, just ask for it.

Send mixed signals. Pay attention to your body language. If they ask what’s wrong and you say “nothing” while scowling with your arms crossed, it sends a mixed message. Your body language should compliment what you’re saying, not conflict with it.

Our lips must always be sealed- 2:46 AM♥

How to communicate better.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

No matter how much you like each other your relationship is doomed to fail unless you can master the art of communication. Here are the Dos and Don’ts for better communication in your relationship:

Have important conversations face to face. Emails and text messages don’t work well for important conversations because you can’t hear the other person’s tone of voice. It’s easy to misinterpret what the other person is saying and take things the wrong way, turning what could have been an easy conversation into an argument.

Pick the right time to talk. When your partner is rushing out the door to get to work, it’s probably not the best time to try to get their attention and have a conversation. The same goes for when they are stressed or preoccupied. Let them know you want to talk and ask, “is this a good time?” You’ll be more likely to get their full attention and have a better conversation.

Start a criticism with a compliment. This softens the blow of the critique you’re making.

Listen when they are speaking. Put down your phone, turn off the TV, and just listen.

Talk often, good and bad. It’s easy to veg out in front of the TV and stop having conversations together when you’re in a relationship. Make sure to carve out time to talk every day, about anything good or bad. Don’t just save talking for heavy subjects.

Don’t

Generalize. This is especially true with criticism. Avoid saying things like “You always interrupt me” or “you never tell me I look nice”. Chances are it’s not true that they always or never act in a certain way and they are bound to get defensive.

Focus on the past. Don’t bring up the time 6 months ago that they were late picking you up. Keep the focus on the current issue rather than holding a grudge on the past and rehashing it every time you want to make a point.

Shut down. When a conversation gets heated and you feel like it’s not going your way, don’t shut down and end the conversation by saying things like “fine, whatever”. Instead, take a break to collect your thoughts and then pursue the conversation to make your point. You want to feel that your thoughts were heard and that won’t happen if you walk away in the middle of the conversation.

Expect them to read your mind. If you want something just say it. Don’t drop hints and then get mad when they don’t read your mind. If you need them to do more or less of something, just ask for it.

Send mixed signals. Pay attention to your body language. If they ask what’s wrong and you say “nothing” while scowling with your arms crossed, it sends a mixed message. Your body language should compliment what you’re saying, not conflict with it.

& the babies cried @ 2:46 AM♥

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